Thall rue’t day

I was in a pub in the village of Grindleton in the Ribble Valley. I was with my wife and a friend early one evening. We were the only people in the pub apart from four old blokes playing dominoes.

It was a lovely evening,   and we could see the flecks of dust milling around in the sunlight streaming in through the window. The landlord was drying glasses and the three of us, who were sitting at the bar were enjoying a companionable silence when all of a sudden there was a loud “clack!” as one of the men slammed his dominoes down on the table exclaiming to one of his friends, in a very grave voice, “Tha’ll rue’t day tha ever played that domino.”

I can’t believe anyone from Bedford, Nuneaton or Truro could possibly take the placing of a domino quite so seriously.

The great crisp conversation

This gem took place in a working men’s club in Accrington. The bar tender was a friend who told me of an old bloke sitting at the bar on his own with half a mild and a bag of crisps. He was joined by his mate who came to the bar and ordered a pint. The bloke who had been at the bar turned to his mate and said “Torreet ‘Arry – do yer wanna crisp?” and he proffered the bag to his friend.

Harry responded “Ah well, there’s the question. Would I like a crisp? The answer is yes I would like a crisp but crisps don’t like me. I’ve tried ‘em all, plain, cheese and onion, salt and vinegar, smokey bacon, pickled onion chicken, prawn cocktail, beef, barbeque, tomato ketchup, I’ve tried them salt and shake ones and even them hedgehog flavoured ones they brought out as a joke….but they all give me jip.” There was a long pause then Harry announced, “  Mind you, if you were to have offered me a nut………………………………………..”

Two genuine overheard conversations which are probably the inspiration behind this site.